Week 36 – 12/05/19

Trapped at the surface. Unable to dive down into the detail. Scrolling down for ever. Like a toilet roll spooling into my mind. Not present in the outside world. Screen dragging me in. Nits of brightness making me a nitwit. Not reading anything. No critical thinking. Nothing sticking in my mind. No application of myself. I say I want to be better but if I really did I would do something about it. Boring. Write this shit every week and usually delete it. Get happier. Stop being so hard on myself. Don’t write bits of weeknotes when you have had too much whisky.

Feels like I spend way too much time on things that are not making things for customers. I need to fix that. Going to measure exactly how much of my time I spent doing non-customer related things. I bet I forget to do it because I have meetings.

Trying to get back into reading again. Bought an actual physical book. Open Up – The power of talking about money by Alex Holder. Four chapters in and it is exactly what I need. A work orientated book but that is grabbing my attention and is well related to work we are trying to do at the moment.

Went to see Avengers Endgame at the IMAX. It was very good. I wonder how iconic it will turn out to be with half the world seeing it?

Watched American Animals at home. It was pretty good. Soundtrack was better. These days I only seem to consume ‘new’ music from film and TV. Had a good Spotify session after. Drunk a lot of whisky (and wrote that top paragraph and the next one)

Drawn to people on twitter who have things I don’t. Skills and capability wise. Interest. Knowledge. Just do stuff attitude. Seem to be living a good life not showy people but those that seem well read, know art, travel, eat interesting food, know things. I know this is a fools errand comparing your life to others. I just want to feel and know and do some more of those things.

Enough of this sub par misery lit. It was a good week overall. Some good project progress. Had some drinks for a leaving do. Interviewed a nice person for a new role. Went for an impromptu take away and drinks with friends. Played football in the park with the boys. Watched some amazing Champions League football (and missed a lot of it deciding to watch Line of Duty instead). All that being said I want to leave the late night Monday writing to stay in because it can’t all just be what I feel at 8pm sober on a Sunday when I usually write this. Need all weeks naval gazing to be in it. Need to be more open and a bit uncomfortable writing this stuff.