Week 35 – 05/05/2019

Felt a little out of it at the start of the week. Move to proper product focused scrum still feels far away. So much process already, so much more needed. It feels right but so many artefacts and a feeling of artifice. It is because I don’t know it well enough and I just want to build stuff. I don’t want to engage with enough of the detail. Staying too high level for reasons I can’t explain. Fear of failure? Looking stupid when I don’t do something ‘right’? Imposter syndrome bullshit? Procrastination as an excuse for laziness or fear of it not being perfect? Let the process makers make process. Let the process be applied to me. Learn how to build stuff better.

Breathe. Stop being a miserable prick. There were lots of highlights this week.

Reached a big milestone on a big project. One that should enable us to get to release a very big thing soon. It felt really good. We did break the website for about ten minutes during the first attempt at the release in the morning but that made the successful release in the afternoon feel a bit sweeter (for me anyway).

The feeling of delivery release was quickly quelled with an annoying hurdle for the next phase but the amazing devs were amazing and got over it by Friday.

Talking of good things I saw a badger in the garden for the first time, the furry little thing triggered a solar security light and I got a glimpse of it briefly. I have seen their shit on the lawn before but good to see the actual culprit. Really quite lucky with the garden wildlife we get. Not so much the variety of animal shit in our garden.

I watched the Robin Williams Documentary, Come Inside My Mind. Brilliant mind, flawed in so many ways. Loved this quote from Billy Crystal. He needed that little extra hug you can only get from strangers…that laugh is a drug. I can imagine that is quite the drug. One other thing that stood our for me were his amazing clothes. Dreadful. I would watch a follow called come inside my wardrobe (which looking at some of his shirts it looks like someone may have done)

Polished off Halt and Catch Fire series 3 (another long put off series). Got well into it after a short while. Some great lines from Joe Macmillan that I might try out in the office. The time jump for the last two episodes of the season was really jarring, so much so I had to check I was watching the right episode but it was a stroke of brilliance.

My wife went to Tenerife for the weekend with two of her oldest friends (old as in longest time not as in ancient although they are both getting closer to 40). Single parenting for 4 days. Children still alive. My blood pressure is not too bad either. We had a good time, watched some films, played some computer games, went swimming, played some football and went to see some Leonardo Da Vinci drawings. A week that got better as it went on.